Fitting in or standing out?

One of the major problems society face today is the problem of too many people trying to "fit in". Have you ever paused to wonder who sets the standard that we all ought to conform with? Or better still, is there even a universal standard anywhere?

Every day I see people who no longer remember who they are. People who so desperately want to fit into a particular stereotype that they have edited their real selves completely out. People who are difficult to identify because when you look in the crowd, there is nothing to tell them apart from the rest of the crowd. Same old, same old, and yet we claim to be sui generis. We all claim to be unique but still feel ashamed of our unique attributes/features because it's not the  trendy thing by heaven-knows-whose-standard. 

The good thing about not struggling to fit in that people seem to not realize is that it makes you be at peace with yourself. You are not competing with anyone so there is no pressure on you to do things in a particular way. You set your standards according to your ability and just pull it off regardless. In my opinion, nothing beats the satisfaction you get from just being yourself.

Something else that not struggling to fit-in does is make you stand out. Why struggle to fit in when you can just be you, stand out and be the standard for a change? The truth is most people are tired of doing things in a particular way but they somehow lack the courage to put an end to unhealthy stereotypes and start on a course in the right direction. They are probably thinking, "what if THEY talk?", "What if they think...? "," What if they don't understand?".
But let those who would talk, talk. Let those who would think whatever, think and let those who would not understand not understand. Life's worth more than what a few people think about the right decisions you make.

Those who get lost in the crowd never really matter. Only those who stand out are celebrated.

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Why give sexual organs euphemistic names?

So i stumbled upon this post by a friend on Facebook and I thought it wise to share. Tell us what you think about it by leaving your thoughts on the comment box below.

By Oghenero UniqueRuth Edemo

Please i like to know something... Why do we
give our sexual organs euphemistic names when
in 'pious' company? Why do we feel that avoiding
calling our sexual organs their names is a mark
of 'modesty'?
A euphemism is a pleasant word
given to an unpleasant thing. Seriously what is
unpleasant, crude or vulgar about something God
himself created?
I have observed that some parents when
teaching their toddlers names of part of their
bodies, teach them to call their penis or vagina
names like 'peepee' ,'thing' , etc. Some persons
avoid even referring to their breasts, vagina,
penis, etc, and instead use 'body'.

Its a very unhealthy thing as these kids are being
raised to think there is something evil, dirty or
unclean about these parts. That is why we have
alot of ignorant, hypocritical adults especially in
these very religious part of the world. The irony
of it all is that their acting as if their sexual
organs are 'unmentionables' doesn't stop them
from being promiscuous..
Yes, the same people who would raise their
eyebrows in 'righteous irritation' if someone
called his or her sexual organs what they are,
actually have veeeery active sexual lives. And
there are alot of people who though are sexually
active, know very little about their penis or
vagina, or for females, don't even know how to
count their menstrual cycle, NOTHING.
It's sad.

Some kids have hidden the fact thAt an older
relative was touching their sexual organs from
their parents 'cos they have observed that their
parents see such talk about the sexual organs as
'forbidden'.
Please dear new parents and would-be parents,
ignorance is NOT bliss. Teach your kids to call
their penis or vagina what they are, as soon as
they can talk. Don't tell them to call their penis
or vagina 'peepee' since obviously you won't ask
them to call their eyes 'holes' or 'windows'. If
somehow you have imbibed thw idea that the
penis or vagina is an 'unmentionable', cleanse
yourself from that idea ,'cos you can't give what
you don't have. Teach them to see their sexual
organs like other parts of their bodies. Teach
them that their sexual organs are God's handwork
as much as other parts of their bodies. Teach
them good sex education. Read good books
about the human body to educate yourself, and
then your kids. Ignorance will only lead to more
disaster. Know that you will give an account to
God for those kids.
To the general public, its an insult to your Maker
to treat what he has created as unclean or
crude. God doesn't create unclean or bad things.
# learn

Anti-corruption crudade in Nigeria :Is it what the country actually needs right now?

By Eyankware  Oghenegare

On May 29th
2015, there was excitement in the air all over
Nigeria that People’s Democratic Party (PDP)
has finally left power. “Change has come” was
on the lips of the populace amidst high hopes
that there was finally going to be food on the
table of the poor; those that finally get their
own share of the national cake during PDP’s
sixteen (16) years rule in the country. It is now
eight (8) months ago and it seems like the
hopeful masses have been deceived. On the
front pages of the national dailies and headline
news of the television stations, all we see is
“Anti-Corruption War against ….” It is becoming
worrisome how the government has lost focus so
soon forgetting that Nigeria needs economic
liberation, development of the local
manufacturing industry, building of indigenous
technology, exploration of its numerous mineral
resources amidst others.

Fighting corruption
some will say will put Nigeria on her path to
greatness, no doubt about that; but let us ask
ourselves, what did  the teeming population vote for?
What was the expectation of the unemployed
graduate who voted for All Progressive Congress
(APC)? What were the hopes of the aged in the
village who cast their votes for President
Buhari? How about the sick in the hospital that
came out en masse to vote for change?

The
writer wants to believe that none of them wanted
a government that would focus all of it's attention
on anti-corruption crusades without making
creative and deliberate efforts to develop
the economy.

Under the last administration,
Nigeria's Gross Domestic Product (GDP) made an
all-time high of $568billion sending a signal to
the world that Nigeria is a place where foreign
investors can come can invest their monies with
a ready market to buy their products but now, it
is like the story is a totally different one. Foreign
investors are pulling out of the economy, value
of the Naira is dropping, foreign exchange
earnings are on the decline with a host of other
economic problems; and all the government talks
about is fighting corruption? The writer has been
forced to ask “what plan does the government
have for the recovered funds?” This question is
paramount because under the past
administration of General Abdusalam Abubakar
and President Olusegun Obasanjo some of the
funds General Sani Abacha looted away were
recovered but their usage did not have any
significant improvements on the economy. It
must not be forgotten that it is the same set of
politicians that managed the recovered funds
under those previous

 administrations that are still
in power today.

As a young gas engineer, I have
been observant of the price of crude oil in the
international market for the past year which is
the main source of the country’s foreign
exchange earnings. It has obviously been on a
decline falling to all-time low of $26 per barrel in
January, 2016. But unfortunately, the anti-
corruption government has been blinded to this
and its implications on the Nigerian economy.
Instead of focusing on diversifying the economy
aggressively, focus is being laid on chasing
corrupt ex-public officers of the opposition party
up and down while disregarding the rule of law in
carrying out its campaign. Is the anti-corruption
fight going to generate employment of the
teeming unemployed population? Is it going to
add more megawatts of electricity to the
national grid? Is it going to improve the
healthcare system in the rural villages? Is it
going to put food on the table of the average
Nigerian? The writer stands corrected but he
believes it would not. What the average Nigerian
wants to see is industries been built, electricity
situation of the country improving, certificates
finding their owners worthy employment
opportunities, an efficient housing system, world-
class education standard, access to portable
water in the rural communities, Nigerians being
proud of the fact that they are Nigerians amidst
others. Unfortunately, the writer does not see
this happening in a country where the
government is all focused on fighting corruption
without effective economic plans and policies to
grow the economy. It is rather disheartening that
most Nigerians are now realizing that the
change they vote for is not what they are
getting. Without euphemizing it, the writer must
say that we have all been fooled. Let’s appeal to
one another’s conscience and evaluate what the
present administration has done so far and we
will all realize that an all anti-corruption
government is not what Nigeria needs right now.
But again, the writer will let Nigerians decide for
themselves what they really want…

Keeping the goals and resolutions

Hello distinguished readers of Talkasphere, it's  nice having you here again in 2016. Welcome on board the 2016 flight. 

The year is still quite early and in the spirit of the season, a lot of people are still enthusiastic about their new year resolutions but will this be the case in a couple of months? 

I am sure that in time past, a lot of us may have started past years with so much positive energy ready to take on the world but watched our enthusiasm wither at some point. Ever wondered why? 

The reoccurring question is, why do people begin the year  with such overwhelming eagerness and lose the positive energy half way into the year? 

Let's talk about the goals we set. 

How about setting realistic goals for a start? 

The reason most people get stuck and then discouraged is because they set outrageous goals for the year. Someone  may want to call it faith but even the Bible says wisdom is profitable to direct. For example, your 2016 goal cannot be to buy yourself a mansion somewhere in Lekki when you have made zero plans on getting a source of income. Big dreams, small plans leads to a big break down. Take one steady step at a time. It will eventually get you where you are headed. 

Point is, your goals and resolutions must meet with equal work. Try discipline, determination and hard-work in relation to those goals and resolutions and see how far it takes you. 

Even the word "Impossible" says "I'm possible". Impossible is a lazy man's anthem. 

Set your goals and go for them. 

Keep the fire burning. 

As 2015 bows out

 With the year 2015 very rapidly coming to an end, a lot of people are yet to wrap their heads around the fact that the year has gone by so fast.


2015 has been both good and awesome depending on where you are looking from. Those who know how to see the good in every situation already know it's been a great year.
Oh, it hasn't been perfect.
Yes, it came with it's fair share of disappointments and heartbreaks and pains but in all,  life lessons have been taught and learnt.

Knowing December for what it is, i know it's a time when  people tend to count more of their losses than their gains. All these wonderful things have happened throughout the year but people would rather focus on the things that could have been but didn't quite play out. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we let the disappointments of the past make the future look uncertain?  Why let so much negativity set it?

Truth is, there's nobody who has it easy. Little delays and challenges here and there but  in the end, don't let them defeat you. It's part of how life rubs off on you to make you stronger. So as 2015 gives way to 2016, learn to smile in the face of adversity.
Hold on tight, with your head held high and walk into 2016 determined to have the year unfold in your favour.  
Accept the things that have come to stay and change those you would rather not have. Set your goals and work hard enough to see them actualize.
Remember, Only those who run the race till the end are worthy of the prize. See every pain of the past as a stepping stone taking you closer to your dreams.

You can only do your best and leave  the rest to God. Utilize the rest of 2015 because when it's gone, you can never have it back.

Greater  2016 ahead. Cheers! 

How to know you are gradually becoming a hater.

The initial title of this post was How not to come off looking like a hater but on second thought I concluded that if you come off looking like a hater, then you are definitely one. People don't just mistake a person for what such a person doesn't look or act like.

There are people who are complete "haters"  but don't even know what they do is hating. What this means is that you can be well balanced in the hate zone without even knowing you are a hater. The reason this is bad is because haters are "bad belle" people and you don't want to be tagged as one. It's not a nice title to have attached to anyone.

The following are some of the ways to detect you are gradually becoming a hater for real.

If you don't feel the need to congratulate a person when there is an obvious reason to, check yourself. You may be crossing over the line to the other side already.  If you are happy about a particular thing that has happened to a friend, neighbor, colleague, sibling, and so on, the most natural way to show it would at least be to congratulate them, right?   If you don't, then maybe you are not happy for them?

If you never give compliments, tell me why you won't be mistaken for a full blown  hater. Maybe the reason you would rather chew your tongue than give an appropriate compliment  is because there is something in you that would rather just hate. (Lol) Compliment that beautiful attire, gadget, the lovely voice,  e.t.c. Tell him the hair cut is nice before you are seen sporting thesame hairstyle the next week.

The third way to detect you are gradually becoming a hater is if you find yourself always disputing the obvious. Take for example, everybody knows Bovi is funny but then you say all his jokes are dry. (Laughs)  Why do I sense hate? You know you are gradually becoming a hater when you argue that someone intelligent is not, or when you call someone who is pretty ugly and the list just goes on. If it's true then just admit it. There is no use fighting facts just to make yourself feel better. Only haters do that.

You are very speedily becoming a hater if you enjoy bad mouthing a particular person. If your major subconscious aim when a person's name is mentioned is to speak negative of such person, then there is a "spirit"  of hating lurking somewhere within. Rebuke it.

If you never  have any positive or helpful comments to offer when a person confides in you on any issue, you are most definitely hating, no doubts. If you jeer or ridicule a person with the things they have confided in you about, it's hating. If you see the problems but never see the solutions, you are acting like a hater already.

You are gradually becoming a hater when your major  self imposed duty is to  look out for flaws in people to show that they are not as "perfect"  as they seem. Lol... This has "bad belle"  written all over it, doesn't it?  So, we all know there is no perfect person. We also know just because a person seems to have everything going so well doesn't mean they are perfect. But you don't have to appointment yourself the FLAW DETECTOR. Try channeling that energy into something more positive instead.

Lastly, you will know you are gradually becoming a hater when you make someone your competition. When you never want such a person to do better than you have done  and if they happen to  achieve more than you have, you feel bad about it. Life is not and will never be a competition. Learn to appriciate your efforts as well as those of others.

All of these ways could individually or collectively hint at whether or not you are gradually becoming a hater. If you are guilty of atleast one of these dark traits, learning to have a better self esteem can help you avoid becoming a mean person full time. .



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Thank you. 

Don't let pressure win!

Hey guys! I'm happy to have you here again. It's always such a pleasure knowing lovelies like you actually take out time to stop by LTZ. I cannot say how grateful I am.

For some time now, there has been a well meaning friend of mine who has been trying really hard to talk me into doing something that is quite smart but which I have absolutely no interest in doing. The friend feels the need to put up pressure until I am won over. Hmmm...

No matter how well meaning a person's intentions are, there are times we just want to do our thing our way  without letting anyone influence us into modifying or changing our plans. Very often however, we allow people pressure us into doing certain things we don't really feel comfortable doing. Sometimes, such decisions turn out beneficial. Other times, the reverse is the case. Either way, there are are certain things you must not allow anybody pressure you into doing. Let's see them.

Choosing a career. 
    It is a very common occurrence to see people,  especially parents and siblings, trying to pressure a person into studying a particular course or majoring in a particular field. They mean well but, hey, nobody knows your dreams and aspirations better than you do! At the end of the day,you would be the one to bear the burden and not them. Your career is your future and it's all sorts of wrong if you don't by yourself decide on what you want to do with your future. Don't allow anybody pressure you into modifying your dreams. 

Entering into a relationship;
   Entering into a relationship because you are been pressured is playing with fire. If you let pressure  win over common sense here, you may live to regret it and it's not worth the gamble. Entering into the wrong relationship can destroy a person so watch it. If somewhere in your head you just know entering into a particular relationship is not what is best for you, no need pushing it and don't let pressure win! 

Having sex;
   This is too sensitive a decision to even contemplate letting anyone pressure you into making. Too many people have sex these days before they are ready for it. In the end, some people start having regrets and all the emotional baggage that comes with sharing your body before you are ready. If you are not ready for sexual relations for any of the nuemerous reasons people hold on to, don't  allow anyone intimidate you into getting involved. If the decision is not yours, forget it.


 Giving your opinion;
    Your opinion is personal and if you think keeping it to yourself will be a better option in a particular situation, don't let anyone pressure you into making comments. There are times you need to stay quiet to save yourself and or others. Sounds petty right? But you'll be amazed at how much good keeping your opinion to yourself sometimes can do. Sometimes people just want your opinion to use it against you. Normally, people are not pressured into giving their opinion so when someone starts going, "Say something na. Just say what you think. Say anything", hmmm, you "gada" be careful what you say at that point. 

Spiritual/Religious stand.
    In these days when there are a lot of religious and denominational clashes, you must not let pressure be the reason you take a stand. You shouldn't be worshipping somewhere and faulting everything about them or  wishing you were somewhere else. At the end of the day, you will answer for yourself so allow God help you make the decision yourself. If you are not convinced about a particular place of worship then don't allow yourself to be pressured into going against your beliefs and convictions. I doubt if on the last day saying something like, "I did it because of my ..." will save an already bad situation. 

In all, people pressure you into doing things because they want to change you. They probably think you should do certain things differently because they think it's what's best for you. (I wonder how people get around to knowing what is best for other people by the way) They may be right but if after all the pressure you still don't feel convinced, then don't let pressure win. 

Thank you for stopping by again. Don't forget to subscribe to the blog.  You could also drop  your comments,