PetPeeveFriday : Guys who fall in love from "behind"

HELLO! It's #PetPeeveFriday. What this means is that I'm going to be sharing one of my pet peeves with you guys.

SO, there are these set of guys i find very very annoying. These are the  guys who  would see a girl for the very first time from behind, walk up to her and profess undying love. They would call it "Love at first sight" . Ah! You didn't even get to see her face first! Really?! You call it love? Smh...

So, it takes  you just one look at a girl's behind to convince you that you are in love? In love with what exactly? Her behind?  Isn't it alarming how people just abuse the word love?


This "love from behind" madness is super annoying and I'm sure even the guys who adopt this insane method as their manner of approach must know the "onekainess" of the whole thing themselves.

I just want guys to stop it already! For One, i think it's a shameless  show of "shallow-mindedness" , Two, i think it's a major turn off for ladies and, Three, girls will see you as joke and who can blame them?   Even if you are shallow must you put it up on public display? Show some respect for yourself!

#PetPeeveFriday
It annoys me when guys do this. Please, please, stop it already .

I would  have said, "TGIF" but on a second thought, it's Friday so what? Abeg e, leave that thing. Lol... Keep on rocking.

Have a lovely weekend.

Nigerian Parents and their undying love for corporal punishment

I  know that just like me, some people must have wondered why most of our Nigerian Parents seem to be so into corporal punishment. I  cannot say with a clear conscience however if i believe such punishments are meant to correct and deter an errant child from continuing in whatever wrong act may have warranted such punishment or if it is done merely as a sort of vengeance on the child for whatever reason .

The other day on TV during a street talk program, people were asked when they thought parents should stop using corporal forms of punishment like canning   and beating. Most responses were funny. Some people settled for 18 years, some 16 years and so on. The most striking response however was that of a woman who said, "Ah! Nothing like age for there o. I go beat my pikin until e get sense as long as he still dey my house even if na 25 years im be."  Lol ... This is outrageous. Isn't 25 years a way  over the edge? What would you want to be beating a 25 years old person for?

Now, the question  is not even if parents should administer or permit corporal punishment. There are several divergent schools of thought on that one. Personally though, being the typical Nigerian that i am, and being also that I have been corporally punished on several occasions in the past , i think there is nothing wrong in hitting a child when necessary if it is done mildly and it doesn't cause any serious physical injuries.  That's the catch.  That not withstanding, beating a child after a  particular age should be seriously discouraged.

Some parents go to the extreme in "disciplining"  their wards. Some punishments are so violent, they leave permanent scars. I thought the aim of punishment was to correct? What then is the use of leaving permanent reminders of mistakes on your child? They try to justify it by quoting the "spare the rod and spoil the child"  thing. Even the Bible limits the use of the  rod to a child!  In other words, if the person is no longer a child, corporal punishment must  be done away with totally.

Personally, i'll go with age 12. Corrections after a person clocks 12 years   should and must be done verbally or through any of the other available and equally- if not more effective- means such as withholding privileges. Okay, maybe a slap or two once in a while but not that thorough canning thing parents just seem to enjoy doing. There's nothing any corporal punishment will change after age 12 in my opinion  except to strain the relationship between the  parents and their children. Plus the really extreme ones have psychological effects.

Then there are those siblings and weird neighbors who take it upon themselves to "discipline" siblings and neighbor's kids. How awkward can it get? Who send you message? Parents should never allow this, please. It's wrong for too many reasons.

I'll conclude with this:
If it isn't mild, if the receiver isn't a "child"  and if such punishment isn't administered by the parents, then  corporal punishment should be done away with. Children should be brought up with love rather than cruelty. Earn their respect rather than make them fear you. There are a thousand and one other ways to deter bad behavior. Physical brutality is not our culture. Let's frown at it.

Having said that, thank you for visiting Talkasphere. Please don't forget to subscribe and drop your comments and contributions.

What sort of friendship is based only on talking about men?

It's a damp  Thursday afternoon  and I'm somewhere in Delta State snuggling under my cover cloth. I'm grateful to God for this beautiful day.

So, I'm struck once again by how much we ladies like to sit down and brag just about anything we have. The most annoying of all is what i want to talk about.

So far, i think there are only a handful of things i find more annoying than a group of "friends" whose conversations only begins with and revolves around  phrases like, "My boyfriend...", "There's this guy that's asking me out... ",  "He gave me money to buy this...". Yes, these group of girls. They more often than not are so painful on the ears it literally hurts to listen to them. Having spent a  great deal of time in the midst of different girls from different backgrounds overtime , i can say this is a quite common conversation trend amongst us ladies but damn, i can never get used to it.

SO, i know of these group of "friends"  who would  only talk about their boyfriends and what he's got them and who is asking them out and what their latest belongings are and how their boyfriend or some other random guy has  promised to get them this or that and all that junk.  Seriously, is there nothing more this "friendship" is about? Next thing i know, they are having a big quarrel because one has been sneaking behind another's back to go on secret dates with her boyfriend and has been demanding money from the friends' boyfriend. When i heared about it i was like, "Ehen, I'm even shocked it took her this long to start doing stuffs with the guy behind the friend's back."  When all your conversions are about "My boyfriend this, my boyfriend that"  Why will she not attempt to snatch him? So, since you are dating a guy who would trek to hell and back just to give you whatever expensive thing you want and hers cannot afford to buy her expensive things you want her to go and die? No, she will not kill herself. She will snatch him from you and you will cry a river.

Who even told you the friends you are yapping on and on to about your man care to know about your latest man update? There are two kinds of girls who will join you in this kind of senseless conversation. The first is the one who wants to know if you are better than her. She's the one who will tell you about her own MEN when you tell her about yours. She turns it into a silent competition. When you say, "The man did this..." she says, "Mine did something similar. " The one who says" I used to have this bag he bought you but i gave it out." She is not your friend. She's like a spy. Coming to know what latest you have and you never disappointment her. You most likely bitch about each other behind each other's back.
The second one is the one who listens dreamy eyed. She says things like, "You are so lucky, It's so fine, una when get una own good o." She is the one who would  do alot of stupid things to "upgrade" so she can "feel among". She bitches more about you behind your back and she will eventually make a move on the man or even do something worse.

What this means at the end is that you have to start lying to each other at some point and most importantly what it means is you are neither a friend nor do you have any friends because what you call friendship actually sucks. Why? Because that isn't even worth calling a friendship in the first place. What sort of person talks about boyfriends all day long? What sort of friends have no conversation when there are no men to talk about?

This is not me telling you not to talk to your friends about the things going on in your life but you just have to tune it down a bit. The truth is nobody really cares to know about what you have if they don't have it or have something better. If it must be about a  man, keep it to yourself for two reasons. One, nobody cares to know and two, it doesn't even make any sense.

Encouragement Vs Mockery

Good day, I hope you've had a lovely day so far. I did, and right now i just want to talk. So, I'm up in your face again o, with my talk. Forgive me.

   It's funny how sometimes people who want to encourage someone whom they feel  needs some sort of encouragement just end up annoying the hell out of such people instead. It happens every day. You'll hear people  saying something like, "I no blame you. Na condition. If not, how can she say this? "  Hmmm...

Personally, i think the dividing line between encouragement and mockery is very thin. Sometimes you can't tell if an encouragement is genuine or if it's actually aimed at driving you crazy. Yes, really. I know some people may have good intentions and present it badly but still, if you hurt someone in the name of encouragement you join this category of people, no vex. You should learn to be sensitive.

See this scenario for example. You check your result, say in school and it's good. Your friend checks his and it isn't so good. He's feeling down. PLEASE, i beg you, this is not the right time to share the testimony of how even though you didn't write a thing or read in preparation for the exams you still scored an A+. Please, oh, please! Not now. He doesn't want to know. Or at least now now.

Take another scenario for instance, you stumbled upon an old time school mate who is still unemployed. He's telling you how he's struggling to make ends meet and you are like, "Ehya, no worry. God go help you. But life sha! Na you go church pass us that year o. Na we bad pass then but na we God come dey bless so. No worry, all fingers are not equal. Your time will come. One day one day."  Ehen! Bros, who raised you? No! No! No! You don't say that to anyone! That's mockery.

Then later when the person's hurt turns into full blown anger you term them "Bad belle people". When someone is feeling down is not the time to rub your testimonies in his/her face. The person may be genuinely happy for you but when the person is feeling raw inside is not the time to stick your success in his face. Haba! So what should he now do? Die?   It's bad manners.

Most of us are culprits of this one. If you are feeling too ecstatic about a particular thing while someone is mourning about the same thing (or even something else), it may do you both good if you can make yourself scarce for a while until you can pull yourself together and be a good and supportive friend. There are times when we need to be solemn and rational because that's what's best in the given situation. There are times you need to feel sad just because your friend is feeling sad. Yes! Yes again. Isn't that what friends are for?


And as for those people who enjoy rubbing painful stuffs in people's faces your turn dey come. "We both got on a diet together, we exercise together regularly , now I'm trim and fit but  you are still kind of fat but don't worry sha, you are still better than before." Ehen, you fit just shut up? Who this kind of encouragement help?

I'm making it sound trivial but the truth is, nothing breeds bad blood faster than turning an encouragement into a  gloating circus. If you don't have some real encouragement to give, shut it. I think we should learn to put ourselves in someone else's shoes sometimes and see from their eyes. So when next you want to make someone feel better, weigh your words carefully before saying them.





Okay, light mood here. Thanks for reading yet again. You are a dream come true. 

Those Little Things

Life usually isn’t really as difficult as we like to imagine it is sometimes. Half the time, we struggle endlessly looking for what we already have right under our noses. This is because we fail to realize that not all the best things in life come in fancy and flashy packages.
Sometimes, we just need to dig a little deeper and look a little closer to find the best things. In most cases, while we spend all our time looking in seemingly promising places, we tend to overlook the solution to our challenges which we may have had right at the tip of our fingers from time immemorial.

So as i debut Talkaspherecom with this post (Though i can’t promise the mood of my posts will always be this serious. Thankfully! ), i would like to encourage us to pay a little more attention to those things we may have tagged “Small and insignificant” in our lives. Who knows where we’ll find our treasures?
Thanks a ton for visiting Talkaspherecom and for reading this post. Please visit often. If you are here, you care. What’s this post if you don’t read it anyway?