Don't let pressure win!

Hey guys! I'm happy to have you here again. It's always such a pleasure knowing lovelies like you actually take out time to stop by LTZ. I cannot say how grateful I am.

For some time now, there has been a well meaning friend of mine who has been trying really hard to talk me into doing something that is quite smart but which I have absolutely no interest in doing. The friend feels the need to put up pressure until I am won over. Hmmm...

No matter how well meaning a person's intentions are, there are times we just want to do our thing our way  without letting anyone influence us into modifying or changing our plans. Very often however, we allow people pressure us into doing certain things we don't really feel comfortable doing. Sometimes, such decisions turn out beneficial. Other times, the reverse is the case. Either way, there are are certain things you must not allow anybody pressure you into doing. Let's see them.

Choosing a career. 
    It is a very common occurrence to see people,  especially parents and siblings, trying to pressure a person into studying a particular course or majoring in a particular field. They mean well but, hey, nobody knows your dreams and aspirations better than you do! At the end of the day,you would be the one to bear the burden and not them. Your career is your future and it's all sorts of wrong if you don't by yourself decide on what you want to do with your future. Don't allow anybody pressure you into modifying your dreams. 

Entering into a relationship;
   Entering into a relationship because you are been pressured is playing with fire. If you let pressure  win over common sense here, you may live to regret it and it's not worth the gamble. Entering into the wrong relationship can destroy a person so watch it. If somewhere in your head you just know entering into a particular relationship is not what is best for you, no need pushing it and don't let pressure win! 

Having sex;
   This is too sensitive a decision to even contemplate letting anyone pressure you into making. Too many people have sex these days before they are ready for it. In the end, some people start having regrets and all the emotional baggage that comes with sharing your body before you are ready. If you are not ready for sexual relations for any of the nuemerous reasons people hold on to, don't  allow anyone intimidate you into getting involved. If the decision is not yours, forget it.


 Giving your opinion;
    Your opinion is personal and if you think keeping it to yourself will be a better option in a particular situation, don't let anyone pressure you into making comments. There are times you need to stay quiet to save yourself and or others. Sounds petty right? But you'll be amazed at how much good keeping your opinion to yourself sometimes can do. Sometimes people just want your opinion to use it against you. Normally, people are not pressured into giving their opinion so when someone starts going, "Say something na. Just say what you think. Say anything", hmmm, you "gada" be careful what you say at that point. 

Spiritual/Religious stand.
    In these days when there are a lot of religious and denominational clashes, you must not let pressure be the reason you take a stand. You shouldn't be worshipping somewhere and faulting everything about them or  wishing you were somewhere else. At the end of the day, you will answer for yourself so allow God help you make the decision yourself. If you are not convinced about a particular place of worship then don't allow yourself to be pressured into going against your beliefs and convictions. I doubt if on the last day saying something like, "I did it because of my ..." will save an already bad situation. 

In all, people pressure you into doing things because they want to change you. They probably think you should do certain things differently because they think it's what's best for you. (I wonder how people get around to knowing what is best for other people by the way) They may be right but if after all the pressure you still don't feel convinced, then don't let pressure win. 

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Being a little more flexible

Hello, my dearest readers! How happy i am to have you visiting Talkasphere again!  To the old readers, i am humbled by your diligence  and if you are new, welcome to my small big world. Please stay with me.

The other day on Instagram, i stumbled upon a couple of my course mates (any of whom I never speak with by the way)  and by the time i was done "spying" on their timelines (Yes i spied on them. Judge me. Lol), i was saying to myself, "Maybe they are not as bad as i thought they were afterall." The big question  now is, "WHY THE HELL THEN HAVE I NEVER EVEN SPOKEN TO ANY OF THEM IN THE FOUR YEARS WE HAVE SPENT TOGETHER?"


 When i paused to think, i realized i barely speak to anyone who isn't a part of my "clique". As bad as it is, it's true. I've been bad like that. I have been a little too quick to look from a distance and conclude that certain people are not worth the stress either because I think they are too far up in their high Horse or because I'm thinking they are not my "type"( As if i have a type)  or maybe just because  they behave in a manner i question. Whichever way, i think by the time I'm done screening and discrediting almost everybody, i may have graduated and may never have the opportunity to get to know and appriciate the uniqueness of these people i had the opportunity to study with. Yes i have my own tiny circle of buddies but when it gets  down to real life, we need more than a closed group of friends. We all need each other!

• This may sound petty. You may be just like me and thinking well, i can't be friends with everyone. Yes, you are right. You can't be friends with everyone but you can be friendly with everyone. THAT'S THE POINT OF THIS POST. Friendliness with everyone. We know those people we haven't really been friendly with at work, in church, at school, in our neighborhood and even on social platforms (Seriously??).  Those are the people we need to be a little more flexible towards.
  
  What else is life about, anyway? We should't live for ourselves alone. The people we have around us are there for a reason if only we let them. The truth is, you don't really know anybody until you know them. So rather than judging wrongly  from a distance, getting to know people  first will give us a better deal.
  
  
  
  I know this is me calling myself out and hating on my anti social attitude  (hehehe)  but I know I'm not in this alone. We just need to be a little more flexible with people. Give everyone a chance and have reasonable fun. You'll be amazed by how much you can learn from /about people if you get to know them. Remember you don't really know anyone until you know them. No man is an island. They say man is a social animal afterall.
  
  I appologise for the fonts. They've been acting up all day. I also appologise for the challenges you've been having with commenting. The problem will be rectified as soon as possible. Please remember to subscribe to the blog and drop your comments.

• Thank you for stopping by. 

Nigerian Parents and their undying love for corporal punishment

I  know that just like me, some people must have wondered why most of our Nigerian Parents seem to be so into corporal punishment. I  cannot say with a clear conscience however if i believe such punishments are meant to correct and deter an errant child from continuing in whatever wrong act may have warranted such punishment or if it is done merely as a sort of vengeance on the child for whatever reason .

The other day on TV during a street talk program, people were asked when they thought parents should stop using corporal forms of punishment like canning   and beating. Most responses were funny. Some people settled for 18 years, some 16 years and so on. The most striking response however was that of a woman who said, "Ah! Nothing like age for there o. I go beat my pikin until e get sense as long as he still dey my house even if na 25 years im be."  Lol ... This is outrageous. Isn't 25 years a way  over the edge? What would you want to be beating a 25 years old person for?

Now, the question  is not even if parents should administer or permit corporal punishment. There are several divergent schools of thought on that one. Personally though, being the typical Nigerian that i am, and being also that I have been corporally punished on several occasions in the past , i think there is nothing wrong in hitting a child when necessary if it is done mildly and it doesn't cause any serious physical injuries.  That's the catch.  That not withstanding, beating a child after a  particular age should be seriously discouraged.

Some parents go to the extreme in "disciplining"  their wards. Some punishments are so violent, they leave permanent scars. I thought the aim of punishment was to correct? What then is the use of leaving permanent reminders of mistakes on your child? They try to justify it by quoting the "spare the rod and spoil the child"  thing. Even the Bible limits the use of the  rod to a child!  In other words, if the person is no longer a child, corporal punishment must  be done away with totally.

Personally, i'll go with age 12. Corrections after a person clocks 12 years   should and must be done verbally or through any of the other available and equally- if not more effective- means such as withholding privileges. Okay, maybe a slap or two once in a while but not that thorough canning thing parents just seem to enjoy doing. There's nothing any corporal punishment will change after age 12 in my opinion  except to strain the relationship between the  parents and their children. Plus the really extreme ones have psychological effects.

Then there are those siblings and weird neighbors who take it upon themselves to "discipline" siblings and neighbor's kids. How awkward can it get? Who send you message? Parents should never allow this, please. It's wrong for too many reasons.

I'll conclude with this:
If it isn't mild, if the receiver isn't a "child"  and if such punishment isn't administered by the parents, then  corporal punishment should be done away with. Children should be brought up with love rather than cruelty. Earn their respect rather than make them fear you. There are a thousand and one other ways to deter bad behavior. Physical brutality is not our culture. Let's frown at it.

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Those Little Things

Life usually isn’t really as difficult as we like to imagine it is sometimes. Half the time, we struggle endlessly looking for what we already have right under our noses. This is because we fail to realize that not all the best things in life come in fancy and flashy packages.
Sometimes, we just need to dig a little deeper and look a little closer to find the best things. In most cases, while we spend all our time looking in seemingly promising places, we tend to overlook the solution to our challenges which we may have had right at the tip of our fingers from time immemorial.

So as i debut Talkaspherecom with this post (Though i can’t promise the mood of my posts will always be this serious. Thankfully! ), i would like to encourage us to pay a little more attention to those things we may have tagged “Small and insignificant” in our lives. Who knows where we’ll find our treasures?
Thanks a ton for visiting Talkaspherecom and for reading this post. Please visit often. If you are here, you care. What’s this post if you don’t read it anyway?